It is not my intention to complain during this post but...Oh, I am dreading this upcoming week and the hurdle that awaits me on Saturday. I am taking an exam called the Praxis on Saturday morning at 8 a.m., and I am already so nervous about it. The Praxis is a teaching exam that I have to pass in order to be certified and, here's the most awesome part, I have to pass it before I student teach, or even apply to student teach. So, yay, I have to pass this test before August. I am generally a very good test taker but the thought of taking this exam makes me sick to my stomach. What if I don't pass? Does that mean I'm going to be a bad teacher? I sure hope not.
But my nervous and impatient heart does indicate one thing: I need to be in serious prayer this week! The Lord Jesus reassures me in His Word: "Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?...Therefore do not worry about tomorrow..." (Matthew 6:25,26 and 34a)
The Lord also already knows His perfect plan for my life...so why do I fret? Why am I anxious? I am ashamed that I feel I never fully rest in the Lord. That will be the prayer of my heart this week. Maybe through this trying experience I will learn to place my worries in His hands always. I know I am unable to humanly be perfect in any area...this reminds me of a verse in Psalm 103. "For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust." (vs. 14) I'm glad the Lord knows I am imperfect and love me still!
And this morning I was reading in Matthew 26 where the disciples kept falling asleep when Jesus was praying. I have often wondered why it was so darn hard for them to stay awake? I mean, it was Jesus, the Savior of the world, asking them to wait and watch, but they kept sleeping. But now I see...how does my life reflect the disciples actions? How often do I not wait on Jesus? Yes, "the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak."
Thank you to those that have been praying for me already! I know that God's perfect will will prevail if I seek it and I do my very best to be prepared! Other than that test, life is pretty good! I have wonderful friends and family who love me for who I am. What could be more encouraging? Matt also took me to Chicago last weekend. It was my first time going and was amazing! I have to go back SOON! I could live on Michigan Avenue...in the four level Crate & Barrel store... :)
Have a great week.
I am very thankful for my sister, Jessica. Isn't she so pretty? Both inside and out.
